If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash, then your situation’s hopeless and your system’s gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall……

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, ‘cuz sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang.

When the copy on your floppy’s getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions cause unwanted risk, then you’ll have to flash the BIOS and you’ll want to RAM your ROM, just quickly turn the darn thing off and run to tell your Mom!

Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?

Funny, but true.

See also:

• The basic tips for computer troubleshooting and repair. (0)
• Diagnosing Microsoft Windows XP blue screen (1)
• Blue screen when installing Microsoft Windows XP (1)

Network Worms
This category includes programs that propagate via LANs or the Internet with the following objectives:

• Penetrating remote machines
• Launching copies on victim machines
• Spreading further to new machines

Worms use different networking systems to propagate: email, instant messaging, file-sharing (P2P), IRC channels, LANs, WANs and so forth.

Most existing worms spread as files in one form or another - email attachments, in ICQ or IRC messages, links to files stored on infected websites or FTP servers, files accessible via P2P networks and so on.

There are a small number of so-called fileless or packet worms; these spread as network packets and directly penetrate the RAM of the victim machine, where the code is then executed.

Worms use a variety of methods for penetrating victim machines and subsequently executing code, including:

• Social engineering; emails that encourage recipients to open the attachment
• Poorly configured networks; networks that leave local machines open to access from outside the network
• Vulnerabilities in operating systems and applications

Today’s malware is often a composite creation: worms now often include Trojan functions or are able to infect exe files on the victim machine. They are no longer pure worms, but blended threats.

Classic Viruses
This class of malicious programs covers programs that spread copies of themselves throughout a single machine in order to:

• Launch and/or execute this code once a user fulfills a designated action
• Penetrate other resources within the victim machine

Unlike worms, viruses do not use network resources to penetrate other machines. Copies of viruses can penetrate other machines only if an infected object is accessed and the code is launched by a user on an uninfected machine. This can happen in the following ways:

• The virus infects files on a network resource that other users can access
• The virus infects removable storage media which are then attached to a clean machine
• The user attaches an infected file to an email and sends it to a ‘healthy’ recipient

Viruses are sometimes carried by worms as additional payloads or they can themselves include backdoor or Trojan functionality which destroy data on an infected machine.

Trojan Programs
This class of malware includes a wide variety of programs that perform actions without the user’s knowledge or consent: collecting data and sending it to a cyber criminal, destroying or altering data with malicious intent, causing the computer to malfunction, or using a machine’s capabilities for malicious or criminal purposes, such as sending spam.

A subset of Trojans damage remote machines or networks without compromising infected machines; these are Trojans that utilize victim machines to participate in a DoS attack on a designated web site.

Hacker Utilities and other malicious programs
This diverse class includes:

• Utilities such as constructors that can be used to create viruses, worms and Trojans
• Program libraries specially developed to be used in creating malware
• Hacker utilities that encrypt infected files to hide them from antivirus software
• Jokes that interfere with normal computer function
• Programs that deliberately misinform users about their actions in the system
• Other programs that are designed to directly or indirectly damage local or networked machines

See also:

• The best antivirus program (2)
• Trixcu.A worm (1)
• The Genealogy of Virus (9)
• RoMeO A.K.A ILLS [CIXENT] (5)
• Remove VBS/ButSur-A or BHA.DLL.VBS fix (6)